Ivan Bellman & the Trash Queen

I am sad to report that as much as I love TQ, we have not gotten to kick it so much on the social tip this go around. She is mad busy working and I am busy being mad about not working. So when Zack Glass (the son of my ersatz fairy-godmother, JoAnne Akabooboo) informed me via JUNK MAIL e-mail he was gigging at the TRASH BAR with a band called the ROYAL SEMI QUARTET my ears pricked up (as opposed to pricking up your ears, the gay allusions of which I hope are not lost ;). These portentous signs enhanced by promises of PBR drink specials and my Auntie’s namesake pub as photo-op backdrop drew us like moths to cashmere or, in this case, yuppies to Billyburg. Best of all I was going to clock in some QT with the TQ.

Red Carpet Muncher 2: Ivan as Cartman, your mom as Kyle & the elusive Mr. Pussy

MUZ_GRASS

To those readers flipping the stations of their microaerophile attention spans, X-TINA, a short film directed by yours temporarily, was in the marginalia (literally the basement) at Cannes Film Fest but there nonetheless. This event, held annually for two weeks in May, is over ergo rendering this screed not so much a blog entry but more like a redactive memoir or advice column from the rotting corpses of my former selves. It is, as I am, not bad (meaning: talent-free) as much as naughty.

Red Carpet Muncher 1: Ivan Bellman on a taut leash at Cannes Film Festival

Ivan Bellman on a taut leash at Cannes Film Festival

Cynthia Hopkins: Essential Viewing

AKA that spacesuit show Tarbot’s been working on You will dig this show I just saw if you, like me, have cremative diffuifulties, like with writing n’ schtuff… Or like you can’t like articulate yourself good enough to get a job… Or you can’t break it off with that not-so-special someone… Or you are being … Continue reading

CHAUTAUQUA! & PS 122’s Sword of Damocles (Mark Russell is not a Dick)

To say that CHAUTAUQUA! Is thought-provoking is to say that Lauren Caitlin Upton is stupid. (I heard that she is doing porn now which I find heartwarming in an odd Americun-type-o’way.) No seriously, folks… This show is dope! I took my Dad (yes the Vanilla is no longer in Manila) and he loved it for … Continue reading

TINA FEY CAMEL TOE: Reflections on the movie MEMORIAL DAY & other slightly belated detritus from Ivan Bellman’s toilet head.

Reflections on the movie MEMORIAL DAY & other slightly belated detritus from Ivan Bellman’s toilet head.

My name is Ivan Bellman . . . duh.

When Andy Horwitz (aka Mr.Roboto) first talked to me about writing for Cultureslut, he asked that I chronicle my adventures from the road while traveling around on this grant I was on. The idea of letting my demons loose on a website was attractive as to alleviate my electronic friends and neighbors from the SPAM … Continue reading

The Closing of the Irish-American Mind (& the latest McDonagh play on Bway)

THE PATRIOT GAME Come all ye young rebels, and list while I sing, For the love of one’s country is a terrible thing. It banishes fear with the speed of a flame, And it makes us all part of the patriot game. – Dominic Behan BUY THIS BOOK YOU STUPID MONOCHROME TROGLODYTE �People have always … Continue reading

The Closing of the Irish-American Mind (& the latest McDonagh play on Bway)*

THE PATRIOT GAME Come all ye young rebels, and list while I sing, For the love of one’s country is a terrible thing. It banishes fear with the speed of a flame, And it makes us all part of the patriot game. – Dominic Behan BUY THIS BOOK YOU STUPID MONOCHROME TROGLODYTE “People have always … Continue reading

Zezu, que ce n’est pas vrai! (Your Mom, Ivan Bellman & the World Cup)

My Spanish language skills are about as good as my knowledge of professional sports. I know about five phrases in the worlds second most popular language, three of which involve taco . . . the other two involve your mother. However, this puts me squarely in line with the American Football (Soccer) Diaspora, as the … Continue reading

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